The business end of a samurai sword
I was sitting on my bus home, expecting people and situations to spark my writing creativity, alas, the only interesting thing was the audiobook I was listening to: James Acaster’s classic scrapes. This would honestly be the perfect Segway for a sponsored Ad, wouldn’t it? Unfortunately, it’s not sponsored.
I was listening away and James said a phrase that I wish to have heard much earlier in life.
‘To be on the business end of a samurai sword’.
Granted, I would not want to be on the business end of a sword. Actually, not on any end of any weapon.
This saying could have been the perfect combo of my two favourite feedback: ‘oh that’s a good metaphor’ and ‘how do you know of this? English is not your first language’.
I am always down for a good metaphor and precisely because English is not my first language, I grew up with a wide array of different sayings that I relentlessly translate into English and try to make them happen.
Popular is my selfishly trademarked: have some salt in your pumpkin. Meaning to be smart.
Followed by: pissing outside the vase. Which means that shit hit the fan.
I made peace with the variety of metaphors and euphemisms I can interject into my daily conversations.
It’s an improv gift I bring to the table, yours to take on board.
As per that second feedback I often get, I have no answer for most of those situations.
I don’t know why or where I’ve learned some of the words I know.
At the same time, because learning English as a second language means that you jump to useful-conversational level, you miss some of the fun stuff.
For example, I am still learning animal sounds and collective nouns.
And don’t make fun of me if I mispronounce words, because it means I’ve learnt them by reading them on a book.
This should be the motto of all late-English speakers.
That, and ‘an accent is a sign of bravery’.
Ideally, I would conclude this article by bringing the topic back to the business end of a samurai sword, or ending on a high note with a pun about audiobooks and knowing how to pronounce words but not how to spell them.
So much for bravery.
Image: via
I was listening away and James said a phrase that I wish to have heard much earlier in life.
‘To be on the business end of a samurai sword’.
Granted, I would not want to be on the business end of a sword. Actually, not on any end of any weapon.
This saying could have been the perfect combo of my two favourite feedback: ‘oh that’s a good metaphor’ and ‘how do you know of this? English is not your first language’.
I am always down for a good metaphor and precisely because English is not my first language, I grew up with a wide array of different sayings that I relentlessly translate into English and try to make them happen.
Popular is my selfishly trademarked: have some salt in your pumpkin. Meaning to be smart.
Followed by: pissing outside the vase. Which means that shit hit the fan.
I made peace with the variety of metaphors and euphemisms I can interject into my daily conversations.
It’s an improv gift I bring to the table, yours to take on board.
As per that second feedback I often get, I have no answer for most of those situations.
I don’t know why or where I’ve learned some of the words I know.
At the same time, because learning English as a second language means that you jump to useful-conversational level, you miss some of the fun stuff.
For example, I am still learning animal sounds and collective nouns.
And don’t make fun of me if I mispronounce words, because it means I’ve learnt them by reading them on a book.
This should be the motto of all late-English speakers.
That, and ‘an accent is a sign of bravery’.
Ideally, I would conclude this article by bringing the topic back to the business end of a samurai sword, or ending on a high note with a pun about audiobooks and knowing how to pronounce words but not how to spell them.
So much for bravery.
Image: via
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