Adulting means wisdom teething
I have reached that age where not only it feels like all of my friends are getting married, but they are sprouting offspring left, right, and centre.
Let it be known, I am all in when it comes to weddings. Other people’s wedding, that is.
I’m in for the full ride!
I’ll get your wing-girl dreams covered. That’s when you’ll meet your future partner.
Wedding dress shopping? I will bring the numbered cards and edit the fashion montage.
Bachelorette party? Barbs inc. is available to plan and execute your wildest entertainment ideas.
The actual wedding? Give me an open bar or, quite honestly, a shelf with unattended bottles and one of my poufy skirts, and I will be happy. Me, and whoever has the luck and honour to sit next to me at such events.
Up until that point, I am also good with make-up touch-ups.
References available upon request.
What a great and useless skill, compiling resumes about my ability to navigate socially acceptable drinking.
Back to the topic: when two become one.
Children.
In the wise words of one of Married at first sight participants: I am not about that.
It’s no secret I don’t interact with babies until two years of age.
There are many reasons for that, and I have recently added one more that I would like to discuss with you here. Teething.
I am fully jealous of the freedom babies have, and the feedback they receive on everyday things.
List of allegedly adorable things babies do: sneezing, sleeping, smiling, ‘talking’, laughing, yawning.
Not only most of those actions are frowned upon at work when you’re adulting, but it’s perfectly normal for a baby to be extremely grumpy and whiny and crying when teething.
Well, I am teething too. Wisdom teething.
Where are my socially accepted crying time, and my teething aid?
Being grumpy because of wisdom teething would be such a step forward for humanity and should be held into account just as much as the infamous ‘midlife crisis’.
Wisdom teething, too, is gender neutral and universally accepted. Unlike the whole period/PMS issue.
Not everyone can relate to hormonal rollercoasters, but definitely, everyone that has ever been to the dentist gets the same gut-wrenching reaction when anything that has to do with teeth is brought up.
By this point in life, I have earned the right to know when something is not right and to whine about it.
And wisdom teething is definitely not right.
Wisdom teething has the potential to be just as important as perspiration. Maybe it’s heavier on some, but imagine walking to your local grocery and, between deodorants and toothpaste, finding a wide array of wisdom-teething supplies. Chewy things, soothing creams, numbing powders, covering all needs and flavours.
Long gone would be the times when we relied on sore throat lozenges to reach the far corner of your aching jaw.
Didn’t know about this trick? I am always happy to help and inform.
Image: via
Let it be known, I am all in when it comes to weddings. Other people’s wedding, that is.
I’m in for the full ride!
I’ll get your wing-girl dreams covered. That’s when you’ll meet your future partner.
Wedding dress shopping? I will bring the numbered cards and edit the fashion montage.
Bachelorette party? Barbs inc. is available to plan and execute your wildest entertainment ideas.
The actual wedding? Give me an open bar or, quite honestly, a shelf with unattended bottles and one of my poufy skirts, and I will be happy. Me, and whoever has the luck and honour to sit next to me at such events.
Up until that point, I am also good with make-up touch-ups.
References available upon request.
What a great and useless skill, compiling resumes about my ability to navigate socially acceptable drinking.
Back to the topic: when two become one.
Children.
In the wise words of one of Married at first sight participants: I am not about that.
It’s no secret I don’t interact with babies until two years of age.
There are many reasons for that, and I have recently added one more that I would like to discuss with you here. Teething.
I am fully jealous of the freedom babies have, and the feedback they receive on everyday things.
List of allegedly adorable things babies do: sneezing, sleeping, smiling, ‘talking’, laughing, yawning.
Not only most of those actions are frowned upon at work when you’re adulting, but it’s perfectly normal for a baby to be extremely grumpy and whiny and crying when teething.
Well, I am teething too. Wisdom teething.
Where are my socially accepted crying time, and my teething aid?
Being grumpy because of wisdom teething would be such a step forward for humanity and should be held into account just as much as the infamous ‘midlife crisis’.
Wisdom teething, too, is gender neutral and universally accepted. Unlike the whole period/PMS issue.
Not everyone can relate to hormonal rollercoasters, but definitely, everyone that has ever been to the dentist gets the same gut-wrenching reaction when anything that has to do with teeth is brought up.
By this point in life, I have earned the right to know when something is not right and to whine about it.
And wisdom teething is definitely not right.
Wisdom teething has the potential to be just as important as perspiration. Maybe it’s heavier on some, but imagine walking to your local grocery and, between deodorants and toothpaste, finding a wide array of wisdom-teething supplies. Chewy things, soothing creams, numbing powders, covering all needs and flavours.
Long gone would be the times when we relied on sore throat lozenges to reach the far corner of your aching jaw.
Didn’t know about this trick? I am always happy to help and inform.
Image: via
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