A tale of extravagance and purposefulness

Not long ago, the boyfriend and I were walking down one of the main streets in the city centre, looking for somewhere to eat. We went out on what I like to call ‘a date’, word that he almost disagrees on, given that we’re living together.

italian restaurant menu

If Netflix on the sofa isn’t a date, why is staying out after work one?

Well, I say: let’s make Netflix and onesie a date too!

Finding each other in the kitchen to make tea? Going for drinks.

Crossing each other just outside the bathroom? Booty call.

Anyway, we were looking for a nice place to eat and he remembered there was an Italian restaurant he’d walked past a few times and gave me the task to peruse the menu.

I like the word ‘peruse’, it makes anything you’re looking at feel extravagant and purposeful.

However, my experience reading said menu was not enjoyable. I gave up the hope to find real Parmigiana in Melbourne a long time ago, so, I was not surprised to find Chicken parmigiana triumphant on the first line.

After that, my go-to rule to separate legit Italian restaurants from the rest, are grammar mistakes. Much to my surprise there were none on this page. I was almost interested in my perusing, when I realised a few extravagant dishes, purposefully added to the list. They included: Penne Alfredo and Chicken Alberto.

Who are these people?

I understand the very Disney dream of Spaghetti Bolognese could be misunderstood for a real Italian dish. Which is not.

Just in case you were wondering, spaghetti are not ideal to retain the goodness that is Ragu’, or Bolognese, sauce.

But a dish in particular sparked both my curiosity and my will to kill: Chicken satay. The Indonesian chicken satay.

What just happened to the world?

I am all for integration and I support creativity just like those Alfredo and Alberto have done to cater Italian food and adapt it, to I’m assuming American taste, until they reached Australia.

But chicken satay surrounded by Italian dishes?

And no grammar mistakes?

The owner must be a complete fool to think they can trick customers like that! Or a genius for actually doing so and stay in business. The extravagance and the purposefulness.

After much internal debate and hand gestures, the boyfriend dragged me away and, possibly to avoid listening to the rambling of a hungry girl, convinced me to write a blog post about the result of my perusing.

I took the liberty to track down some reviews:

Fritz states "It's an Italian restaurant and I couldn't work out why satays were on the menu."

Oh Fritzie, neither do we.

Paul, a true connoisseur, says "I had chicken satay and carbonara ravioli. My wife had fettuccine amatriciana. All really impressed. My only complaint was the garlic bread was a little too garlicky."

Yan had it worse "Two family members got quite sick from food poisoning a few hours later during the night, vomiting and diarrhoea. Still quite sick even after 24 hours. Most likely due to the sauce for dips, but also had pasta, risotto, steak and duck confit."

Kit says "My daughter enjoyed her fish and chips and I loved my chicken satay."

It's funny how you see dads doing the bare minimum and you think: what a good dad!

Brisbane, I am hoping this is a review from the whole city, speaks directly to my heart "Never before have I been to an Italian restaurant and not served freshly grated Parmesan cheese... I was terribly embarrassed!"

Sean couldn't make up his mind "Food wasn’t bad but definitely not great. Some staff friendly, others unwelcoming."

Such is life, Sean.

Such is life.



Image: via

Comments

More from BYO Lipstick