Normal people looking for a normal home - falling in love
Following the pathos filled first home inspections that saw me running away screaming in denial, there have been a few more, some left me lukewarm, others, such as the one I’m about to tell you, set the bar unfortunately too high. I landed on the bachelor of apartments and I didn’t know I was a contestant.
We were prepared: we had a system and a list of things to check. We had a plan!
And then we saw this apartment riding on a white horse on a beach during sunset, violins playing in the background, hair flowing in slow motion.
All logic disappeared in the view.
Yes, because the prince of all apartments had a view. Not of more buildings. No. All we could see, from floor-to-ceiling windows, was city skyline, the river, unicorns and mermaids.
At that point I had no idea if the power outlets were even there. Who needs electricity when you have all that sky?
Then, I ventured into the master bedroom and, followed by a plastic pose of surprise that only Oscar winners could emulate, I saw the double walk in closet.
Do I need a walk in closet? No. But do I really really want it now? Yes, I do! Take my rose and take the boyfriend’s rose too, production, drop the confetti, close the show, we’re done here.
But, of course, like all dreams, it had to come to an end when I realised it was above our price range and we had no useful detail about the property. Were lights even there? Was the carpet decent? Could we fit a bed in the room? Who knows!
It’s like having a magical carriage and a brand new sparkly gown with crystal slippers, when all you really needed was a normal night out, even just not to be mocked by everyone because of your habit of being covered in cinder.
The aim of our inspections, at least for the time being, was to find out what’s the offer, what we end up liking or disliking about apartments, and to get a better idea of how shady web-descriptions are. We’re supposed to dip our toes in before jumping into deep waters. In all honesty, I did not think to fall for an apartment still in phase one, especially one that has things I didn’t know I wanted.
The only solution, according to the boyfriend, is to inspect a legit ‘tiny home’, just to bring back some proportion into our perspective. This is when our heroes enter the woods and are presented with a choice: a light-filled path covered in flowers and a desolate one surrounded by skeletal trees.
To be continued…
Image: via
We were prepared: we had a system and a list of things to check. We had a plan!
And then we saw this apartment riding on a white horse on a beach during sunset, violins playing in the background, hair flowing in slow motion.
All logic disappeared in the view.
Yes, because the prince of all apartments had a view. Not of more buildings. No. All we could see, from floor-to-ceiling windows, was city skyline, the river, unicorns and mermaids.
At that point I had no idea if the power outlets were even there. Who needs electricity when you have all that sky?
Then, I ventured into the master bedroom and, followed by a plastic pose of surprise that only Oscar winners could emulate, I saw the double walk in closet.
Do I need a walk in closet? No. But do I really really want it now? Yes, I do! Take my rose and take the boyfriend’s rose too, production, drop the confetti, close the show, we’re done here.
But, of course, like all dreams, it had to come to an end when I realised it was above our price range and we had no useful detail about the property. Were lights even there? Was the carpet decent? Could we fit a bed in the room? Who knows!
It’s like having a magical carriage and a brand new sparkly gown with crystal slippers, when all you really needed was a normal night out, even just not to be mocked by everyone because of your habit of being covered in cinder.
The aim of our inspections, at least for the time being, was to find out what’s the offer, what we end up liking or disliking about apartments, and to get a better idea of how shady web-descriptions are. We’re supposed to dip our toes in before jumping into deep waters. In all honesty, I did not think to fall for an apartment still in phase one, especially one that has things I didn’t know I wanted.
The only solution, according to the boyfriend, is to inspect a legit ‘tiny home’, just to bring back some proportion into our perspective. This is when our heroes enter the woods and are presented with a choice: a light-filled path covered in flowers and a desolate one surrounded by skeletal trees.
To be continued…
Image: via
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