Italians don't make pasta
I don’t know what happened, but as of recently random old ladies started talking to me and I feel the intrinsic desire to make pasta from scratch. Something is seriously off.
I have been known for being not very Italian-like: I don’t like soccer, don’t drink coffee, never been on a Vespa, not part of a mafia family, can’t speak any dialect, and, most of you will gasp, I don’t actually hate pineapple on pizza.
Being away from home is slowly bringing out all the Italian stereotypes from the deep dark cage I’ve kept them locked for the longest time. Am I finally turning Italian? When you’re in Italy certain things are simply the norm and nobody will even question them, such as hand gestures and having a moka, or caffettiera, on the kitchen counter at all times. Other things, like making pasta from scratch, sound quite weird even to Italians.
I am sorry to break many people’s dreams, but not all Italian youngsters have a Vespa, not all women look like Sofia Loren, and pasta is usually bought in a blue package from the supermarket. I have never met anyone who just wakes up, sings out of the window, and makes pasta out of the blue.
That’s Italian level 'over 9000'.
The highest level of Italian-ess I’ve ever personally encountered was having real herbs in pots to use while cooking, and assembling lasagne using pre-maid sauces and things. Also, saying things like: Milan is so grey and everyone is stressed, Venice is nice but I wouldn’t live there, is a very common thing. Mind you, that’s Italian level 1.
Point at the screen if you’ve heard those before, and do the pinecone hand if you haven’t.
Who would have thought I would be sitting here, comparing pasta machines and purposefully watching ‘how to make ravioli’ videos on youtube? Granted, there was a drag queen in one of the videos, and if she nailed them, I am confident I can, too.
Image: via
I have been known for being not very Italian-like: I don’t like soccer, don’t drink coffee, never been on a Vespa, not part of a mafia family, can’t speak any dialect, and, most of you will gasp, I don’t actually hate pineapple on pizza.
Being away from home is slowly bringing out all the Italian stereotypes from the deep dark cage I’ve kept them locked for the longest time. Am I finally turning Italian? When you’re in Italy certain things are simply the norm and nobody will even question them, such as hand gestures and having a moka, or caffettiera, on the kitchen counter at all times. Other things, like making pasta from scratch, sound quite weird even to Italians.
I am sorry to break many people’s dreams, but not all Italian youngsters have a Vespa, not all women look like Sofia Loren, and pasta is usually bought in a blue package from the supermarket. I have never met anyone who just wakes up, sings out of the window, and makes pasta out of the blue.
That’s Italian level 'over 9000'.
The highest level of Italian-ess I’ve ever personally encountered was having real herbs in pots to use while cooking, and assembling lasagne using pre-maid sauces and things. Also, saying things like: Milan is so grey and everyone is stressed, Venice is nice but I wouldn’t live there, is a very common thing. Mind you, that’s Italian level 1.
Point at the screen if you’ve heard those before, and do the pinecone hand if you haven’t.
Who would have thought I would be sitting here, comparing pasta machines and purposefully watching ‘how to make ravioli’ videos on youtube? Granted, there was a drag queen in one of the videos, and if she nailed them, I am confident I can, too.
Image: via
Comments
Post a Comment