The perfect comeback
We all know of the universal truth that is thinking of the perfect greeting or interview answer while in the shower. When, clearly, none of that is needed, unless you lived a very strange life. If that’s the case you have to start your own blog because you got some stories to tell.
Once agreed that job interviews in the shower are not a reality for me, I’d like to assess how many others get extremely vivid hypothetical responses to random situations.
I was sitting on the bus and a sketchy person sat behind me, nothing life-threatening, just your usual late bus. For whatever Hollywood construct I imagined this person would pick a fight with me.
I could have been reading or enjoying my music, instead I allowed myself to follow this crazy train of thoughts and got annoyed by my own daydreams.
I ended up spending the rest of that bus ride thinking of the perfect comeback to this creepy scenario. And I would like to share with you a list of the best reactions I could put into action in case someone did pick a fight with me on public transport.
On a sidenote, none of this will ever happen, I am a responsible citizen and I cry and hide when hit. Mum, this is not serious.
Perfect comeback number 1: ‘What kind of messed up decisions did you have to make in your life to end up punching a random on a bus? Are you just sitting here because you got nowhere better to go?’
Perfect comeback number 2, if I am hit in the face and can’t talk much: ‘Who hurt you, kid?’ or ‘Are you that insecure?’. These are good for some reverse psychology and soul-saving action.
Perfect comeback number 3: ‘You must really hate your life for stepping so low.’
Perfect comeback number 4, if the attacker tried to put the blame on me and if millennials were close-by and I needed allies: ‘I didn't start anything. I barely start a book nowadays!’
Perfect comeback number 5, this may be an Aussie thing: ‘I have two degrees in philosophy, what have you earned other than Centrelink and ugly tattoos?’ Also, this may just result in more bullying. I need to re-think it.
My question is, I have never been I a fight before and I would clearly not come up with a smart comeback if that was the situation, why would I spend an entire bus ride thinking about this? Does anyone else do it?
Image: via
Once agreed that job interviews in the shower are not a reality for me, I’d like to assess how many others get extremely vivid hypothetical responses to random situations.
I was sitting on the bus and a sketchy person sat behind me, nothing life-threatening, just your usual late bus. For whatever Hollywood construct I imagined this person would pick a fight with me.
I could have been reading or enjoying my music, instead I allowed myself to follow this crazy train of thoughts and got annoyed by my own daydreams.
I ended up spending the rest of that bus ride thinking of the perfect comeback to this creepy scenario. And I would like to share with you a list of the best reactions I could put into action in case someone did pick a fight with me on public transport.
On a sidenote, none of this will ever happen, I am a responsible citizen and I cry and hide when hit. Mum, this is not serious.
Perfect comeback number 1: ‘What kind of messed up decisions did you have to make in your life to end up punching a random on a bus? Are you just sitting here because you got nowhere better to go?’
Perfect comeback number 2, if I am hit in the face and can’t talk much: ‘Who hurt you, kid?’ or ‘Are you that insecure?’. These are good for some reverse psychology and soul-saving action.
Perfect comeback number 3: ‘You must really hate your life for stepping so low.’
Perfect comeback number 4, if the attacker tried to put the blame on me and if millennials were close-by and I needed allies: ‘I didn't start anything. I barely start a book nowadays!’
Perfect comeback number 5, this may be an Aussie thing: ‘I have two degrees in philosophy, what have you earned other than Centrelink and ugly tattoos?’ Also, this may just result in more bullying. I need to re-think it.
My question is, I have never been I a fight before and I would clearly not come up with a smart comeback if that was the situation, why would I spend an entire bus ride thinking about this? Does anyone else do it?
Image: via
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