Normal people looking for a normal home - first inspection nightmare
Continuing on the theme of adulting and moving out, the boyfriend and I decided it was time for us to get some field experience by inspecting the top properties according to our ‘priorities and vibe’ spreadsheet mentioned in the first episode. You can catch up by clicking here. It was an intense day and we learned a lot and cried a bit.
Have you ever seen that awesome MTv program about rich kids and their crib? Or, more recently, you might have come across youtubers showing their studio in a vlog-type tour. Really, just any sort of relocation TV show where people want to buy a new house ‘just because’, and it’s usually something crazy expensive and totally out of the norm, am I right?
I say ‘NO’ to fake reality programs. I want the voice of normal people living in a normal city with a normal budget to be heard. It so happens that that voice also is my voice.
How convenient!
I hereby declare this the second episode of how I might end up with the apartment of my dreams, or how reality high-fived me in my face with a chair.
Remember how, just a few weeks ago, I was talking about creating a spreadsheet with a complex point system attributed to specific items on our wish-list? That spreadsheet contained, in a very educated alphabetical and chronological order the properties we were interested in, when we saved them, which features were the highlight of said property, and which specific feature counted double according to our priorities.
You fools! - Insert Disney villain gif
That spreadsheet flew out of the window of a miniature apartment on the 14th floor of a building when, what we thought were a bunch of checks on our list, turned out to be a catfish!
We have been catfished by an apartment. This is so much worse than a Tinder date - job interview. You see, apartment photos work in the polar opposite way as photoshopped photos of people: everything seems bigger, nothing in the way, no cheeky see through, no personality showing, well lit, and no contrasts.
The description that tricked us: Carpeted two bedrooms in a prime location new building with a view.
Bedrooms? If you laid down your hands and feet could touch every wall around you. That is, if you wanted to lay on the most stained carpet I’ve ever seen. And I have lived with Erasmus students*! Also, new building means small. It’s that simple. And sure, there was a balcony with an endless view of railways, tram tracks, and busy intersection. Prime location for Kebab and speedy walks in a populated park.
The kebab feature alone turned out to be the best thing that place had to offer. As I walked inside, my guts scrunched up and I could just painfully say: Oh nooo!
The picture of me Gone with the wind’ing around a tiny empty apartment in a mixture of fainting and horror shall be the ending scene for this episode, in pure cliff-hanger style.
*University students who won a scholarship to study in another European city, need I say more?
Image: via
Have you ever seen that awesome MTv program about rich kids and their crib? Or, more recently, you might have come across youtubers showing their studio in a vlog-type tour. Really, just any sort of relocation TV show where people want to buy a new house ‘just because’, and it’s usually something crazy expensive and totally out of the norm, am I right?
I say ‘NO’ to fake reality programs. I want the voice of normal people living in a normal city with a normal budget to be heard. It so happens that that voice also is my voice.
How convenient!
I hereby declare this the second episode of how I might end up with the apartment of my dreams, or how reality high-fived me in my face with a chair.
Remember how, just a few weeks ago, I was talking about creating a spreadsheet with a complex point system attributed to specific items on our wish-list? That spreadsheet contained, in a very educated alphabetical and chronological order the properties we were interested in, when we saved them, which features were the highlight of said property, and which specific feature counted double according to our priorities.
You fools! - Insert Disney villain gif
That spreadsheet flew out of the window of a miniature apartment on the 14th floor of a building when, what we thought were a bunch of checks on our list, turned out to be a catfish!
We have been catfished by an apartment. This is so much worse than a Tinder date - job interview. You see, apartment photos work in the polar opposite way as photoshopped photos of people: everything seems bigger, nothing in the way, no cheeky see through, no personality showing, well lit, and no contrasts.
The description that tricked us: Carpeted two bedrooms in a prime location new building with a view.
Bedrooms? If you laid down your hands and feet could touch every wall around you. That is, if you wanted to lay on the most stained carpet I’ve ever seen. And I have lived with Erasmus students*! Also, new building means small. It’s that simple. And sure, there was a balcony with an endless view of railways, tram tracks, and busy intersection. Prime location for Kebab and speedy walks in a populated park.
The kebab feature alone turned out to be the best thing that place had to offer. As I walked inside, my guts scrunched up and I could just painfully say: Oh nooo!
The picture of me Gone with the wind’ing around a tiny empty apartment in a mixture of fainting and horror shall be the ending scene for this episode, in pure cliff-hanger style.
*University students who won a scholarship to study in another European city, need I say more?
Image: via
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