Boys and courtship, a documentary

I am sure you are very well aware of the reputation *Italian men have. They are known worldwide for their charm, romantic aptitude, sweet talk, and intense gaze. All of that sounds seriously better than it feels in real life, trust an Italian. What for many is a 'Latin lover', for Europeans is yet another sleazy, hungry perv.

*I mentioned Italian men because they are the ones I know best; although from a worldwide perspective the category should also include French, Spanish, and Latino.

Said 'Latin lover' approach to girls is at the opposite side of the interaction spectrum compared to 'Alpha males' everywhere else, including Australia. This second specimen would act just as a peacock would, in presence of females: chin up high and make them believe he is the best of all by showing off his huge... tail.

The 'Latin lover' would put feelings first, compliments all round, and future plans together as the cherry on top. If it doesn't work, he will apply the same formula until the female believes he is sincere or collapses from the siege. If the given time is limited, the approach will include drinks and food, presents, constant interaction, grand gestures, all of which will be terminated as soon as the female shows signs of attachment.

The 'Alpha male' usually puts himself first. And second. Then maybe he would notice the female, but not any female. His preference goes to the conventionally most attractive in any given environment, and he would show his intentions by bringing his prey down. Not literally, not yet! The approach includes, but is not limited to, pointing out her imperfections, bragging about his position and achievements, not offering any pleasant cordiality, ignoring her, looking around in case a better specimen enters his territory.

It is very interesting to study these two opposite species closely, although we will always be bias towards one of them. What seems exotic and thrilling for some, it feels old and boring for others. What I would like to stress is that more than a physical factor, it seems to be a cultural effect, influenced to a certain degree by role models. The real question now is: since girls' awareness of these rituals is increasing, should we still address courtship as a hunt for the kill, or a playful game?


Image: via