The first day at work

About fifteen years ago, I was standing in a classroom full of kids I didn't know, clutching my schoolbag, a little bit shakey. On second thought, all of us were glancing around nervously. All I knew about school came from american TV series, I was expecting the popular kids and the chess club, lunchboxes and lockers. Boy, was I wrong. 

My school had a canteen with fresh food, and they built lockers only during my last year there. We still had popular kids, which were bullies, but no nerds. It's funny, some people say if you can't remember the nerds, there's a good chance you were one. I was expecting magic friendships with secrets, code words, and hair braiding during recess. I was fearing dozens of pages to study for oral exams everyday and the most boring classes where we just stared at the clock. Turns out, when you are 12, friendships are more like hair elastic bands: you think you found the right one, not too lose nor too clingy, no unnecessary hair pulling, and the next day you lose it. Or you lend it to a classmate for PE and she never came back.

I did pretty well once I got a hang of it all: during high school I was the only goth and I was among the top of my class. Which made life easier, and harder at the same time. In the end I could manage hair dye and test preparation pretty well, also I learned where to stand during recess, not to braid anyone's hair in public, and that a dozen of pages isn't actually too much to study. I always carried two pencils with me in case one broke during heavy note-taking, and I knew the best toilet was the one on the underground level because it was always empty and smelled exotic.

Today, after fifteen years of school routine, lunches, and unspoken social hierarchy, I'm standing on the front door of an office. A bit shakey, clutching my business-bag, not knowing where to sit, the name of my managers, how to do small-talk on the elevator, when to have lunch. I'm not sure if I could use the restroom or if I have to wait for recess, if I could bring a coffee to my desk or if the office-janitor will tell me off. Are there janitors? Is there a bell at 9am telling me to hurry to office? Do I need to see the principal if I arrive late? Will I be tagged as nerd if I read during lunch break? What if I'm the only one with Ravenclaw pencil case?

What if I'm the only one with a pencil case?

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